A relatively short and simple one today. The deal, which wasn’t a deal, because it wasn’t agreed on both sides, was explicitly rejected yesterday, making it even less of a deal.
Because it was never a deal.
In fact it was barely a proposal. And now, here we are, with Johnson’s “brilliant deal” looking very much like a half-eaten pigeon next to a bin.
Remember when he said that the chances of a no-deal Brexit were “a million-to-one?”
Who, on earth, could ever have seen this coming?
Merkel ‘Merks’ Berk
Boris’ day started badly. In an early-morning call with Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, he was unequivocally told that his deal was as good as dead. While not an official spokesperson for the EU, Merkel is a leading voice among them.
This was about as unexpected as a Southern Rail train being delayed – depressing, infuriating, yet inevitable. It was never going to be good enough (“A hard border is a bad idea you say? Have two instead!“), and today all hope of negotiations seemed to die off.
And, just to put some nails into the ashes that used to be a coffin before it was burnt on a pyre, Number 10’s office released a statement about the call without giving any advance warning to the Germans. In this statement, they openly derided Merkel’s position and tried to fan the flames of blame against them rather than accept how appalling their deal was.
Unfortunately, everyone has clocked on to Mr Cummings’ plans these days. What was meant to stoke the fires of oppression seemed more like a small man in an Austin Allegro honking his horn at an Audi R8 that overtook him on a B-Road.
Donald Tusk, President of the European Commission and a man with the patience of a thousand Tibetan monks, tweeted a truly wonderful response:
Quo vadis, so we’re clear, is Latin. Johnson studied Classics at Oxford, and so would know that it means ‘Whither goest thou?’
Or, in layman’s terms, “What the actual f*ck are you playing at, you vat of unpasteurised milk made human?“
All of this means that Boris must legally ask the EU for an extension, unless a complete miracle happens before the 19th of October.
If he doesn’t, then things are going to get messy, as I wrote about yesterday.
And if you think that that’s alarmist…
Alleged Racists Act All Racist In Shock To Everyone
Leave.EU, the company that funded the Leave campaign, absolutely outdid themselves yesterday. I’m not going to link to the actual Tweet that they posted, lest they get more traffic than they deserve, but just observe the screenshot below and draw your own conclusions.
With the greatest of apologies, Verpiss dich, Sie rassistische Fotzen.
This has garnered a truly superb response in that not only did the likes of David Lammy, erstwhile Labour and People’s Vote campaigner, call the message disgusting.
Richard Tice, the Brexit Party MEP (!!!), explicitly called the Tweet “Stupid and offensive“.
To which Andy Wigmore and Aaron Banks, the two founders and funders-in-chief of Leave.EU, responded with this:
I almost admire the brash, Three Lions, oi oi, Inglund-til-I-Die, gutter-mob mentality that comes with this. It’s so utterly stupid and counter-productive that it’s almost beautiful.
Because this has shown how desperate the hard Leave campaign has become. Boris has raged against the machine and been crushed. He is now stuck between a rock of pure diamond and place where he must meet Lady Hale’s hard stare.
His choices now are to destroy this current manifestation of Brexit, destroy our Parliamentary democracy, or destroy the Conservative Party.
He will have to decide within the next ten days.
Tick tock, Prime Minister.